![]() ![]() Narcissists – people who show high levels of self-importance, superiority, entitlement, arrogance and a willingness to exploit others – are often perceived as very attractive in initial encounters. Of course, sometimes we do find “bad” people attractive. ![]() Characteristics such as warmth, kindness, and basic decency are valued by both women and men – having them makes us more desirable partners, but also makes us appear more physically attractive. Some studies have shown that having a nice personality can even affect impressions of a person’s physical attractiveness. In fact, the power of niceness shouldn’t be underestimated. The picture that emerges is clear: when women rate hypothetical partners, they clearly prefer “nice” men. Other studies have similarly shown that women prefer men who are sensitive, confident and easy-going, and that very few (if any) women want to date a man who is aggressive or demanding. In another study, participants who read dating ads in which people described themselves as altruistic (“I volunteer at the food bank”) were rated as more attractive short-term dates and long-term partners than those who didn’t mention such qualities. So which contestant did participants think Susan should date and who did they prefer to date themselves? Contrary to the stereotype that nice guys finish last, it was actually the nice contestant that was chosen most frequently for both Susan and for participants themselves. ![]() The third contestant simply gave neutral answers. In another, he was a self-described “real man” who was insensitive and unkind. In one version, the man was nice – he was in touch with his feelings, caring and kind. In one such study, participants had to help a fictional character named Susan choose a date from three male contestants, based on their answers to her questions. One way to investigate the issue is to present women with hypothetical men with different personality types and see which ones they prefer. Leaving aside the obvious point that the article is conflating “bad” with drinking and smoking (as Girl on the Net writes, “badness” is really a lot more than just smoking 20 a day or drinking like there’s no tomorrow), is it really true that women prefer bad boys (read: insensitive, macho jerks)? Let’s take a look at some reliable scientific evidence. The research it refers to is a study published earlier this year, which suggested that some men smoke and drink because this makes them more attractive short-term partners. Thanks to a recent study, this is now scientifically verifiable.” Recently, an article published by Broadly claimed, “Everyone knows … are desirable. This idea is so widespread that some people are even making money off the back of it, selling self-help books and teaching men how to pick up women by insulting them – a practice known as “negging”. Fleshed out, the idea goes something like this: heterosexual women might say they want nice characteristics in a partner, but in reality what they want is the challenge that comes with dating a “bad boy”. Attraction and desire can be about so much more than facial symmetry.“Nice guys finish last” is one of the most widely believed maxims of dating. ![]() What if the lesson is … beauty is skin deep? Thinking on such superficial terms is a trap? Of course, I’ve had great sex with conventionally hot guys (and bad sex with not-so-hot ones), so these are generalizations, and my own data is far from scientific, but she could be missing out as a result of her standards. There’s sometimes a level of engagement that I find missing in some super-hot guys. But I’ve had a lot of good sex with guys that might be considered average-looking, and I think part of it is that they just put a lot of effort into it. Rich: I’m not trying to like social-justice police her attraction-she likes what she likes, and I think she has a right to satisfaction. Stoya: For completely understandable reasons, I’ll add, being in a professionally-looked-at career. Stoya: Her self-worth is tied to her looks. I Had a Long-Distance Boyfriend For Years. My Nomadic Lifestyle Is Making My Open Relationship… Tricky My Boyfriend Does a Horrible Job of Hiding His Fetish in Public. ![]()
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